


Holistic Gays

by WallaceWellls



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brotzly - Freeform, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, the patrick spring case still happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-10-16 12:52:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10571688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WallaceWellls/pseuds/WallaceWellls
Summary: Two Sane Guys Doing Normal Things, but also being completely unaware that they are both Trans As Hell. In which Todd not only uses his Parent's money to live, but also to transition. Dirk's just Dirk, but y'know trans. This is a complete mess, but there needed to be more Trans Todd & Dirk.





	1. Todd Brotzman

**Author's Note:**

> Hello this is my first public fic! Dirk Gently is a very kind fandom and I'm happy to be apart of it! But, yes, there are only like 6 trans fics, and so here I am adding my own take. Please be aware that I am actually a trans guy and have used a lot of personal experience to write this. Not all trans guys feel the way I do! Thank you to my friends Nicole, Tyler and Jacob fir proof reading and just encouraging me to keep writing this!  
> Also, I could not find it in me to give Todd a Dead Name, so I just avoided using any other name for him. I just see Todd as a person that would burn every trace of it. SO, here's Todd's background!

Little girls wear pretty dresses and don't play in the dirt with the neighborhood boys. Todd has heard this and so many similar things in his short life. It was honestly past annoying and was very closely approaching unbearable. He wasn't a girl! In the ten years he’s been alive, he has never has been a girl! Everyone was wrong! They always called him the wrong name and called him “she” and “her”. His name is Todd and he's a boy!

Everyone thinks he's lying, but he's not, he swears he isn't. He wouldn't lie about this, it's too important to him. His parents just give him the look, the one that tells him they don't believe him, and laugh while telling him he’ll get over wanting to play with being such a boy. They just called him a tomboy and drop the subject.

Every time they try to get him to wear a dress, skirt, or anything pink or purple he screams that he won't wear it. He throws it out of his room telling his parents he hates the clothes because their girls clothes! They sigh at him and beg and try to compromise, but Todd never lets up. When they turn away he take the clothes and gives them to his younger sister Amanda. She'll grow into them and she’ll look cute in them. 

Todd loves his little sister. He couldn't be happier with the sibling he was blessed with. She never questions Todd when he says he's a boy, she believes him! She's only 7 and she's smarter than his parents.

One day, both his parents have to quickly rush to the store to pick up ingredients for dinner. They put him in charge promising not to be more than half an hour. “I can watch Amanda! I'm 10 and she's 7! We're not helpless mom!” he assures his mom.

She smiles down at him, “My responsible girl!” she hurries out the door, completely missing Todd’s scowling face.

“I'm not a girl!” he says to the empty space. He sighs and goes to find Amanda. He finds her in her room playing. “Amanda, grab some toys we’re going to the computer room! Mom and dad went to the store, they'll be back soon!”

“But you'll get in trouble for going in there when mommy and daddy aren't home!” she tells Todd.

“I want to look something important up, please Amanda don't tell them!” he begs his face becoming distressed.

Amanda looks at her older brother and nods. She picks up a coloring book and a few toys and follows Todd. She settles herself into a corner as Todd turns on the computer.

When it finally turns on he starts searching up phrases along the lines of, “I'm not a girl”, “boy but born a girl” , “how does a girl become a boy”, and so on. He stumbles upon the word “transgender”. He reads as much as he can in his limited time. He absorbs and memorizes as much as he can make himself. When he knows his time is almost up, he deletes his history and shuts the computer down.

“Come on Amanda, let's go to my room. I wanna tell you what i found” she follows him back to his room. They both climb on his bed. Todd lays on his back looking up at the ceiling, Amanda sits cross legged next to him.  
“What did you look up? Was is interesting?”

Todd turns his head towards his sister. “ Remember when i told you that I'm a boy and no one believed me?”

“I believe you! You're my big brother!”

Todd smiles at his sister, “Okay, everyone except you don't believe me.”

“‘Cause I'm the best sister, that's why.”

Todd lets out a small laugh, “Yeah, you really are.” he covers his eyes with his arm and takes a few deep breaths. “I was reading about people who are born one gender, but really feel like they're the opposite gender. It’s called transgender! I'm not the only one! I can grow up to look just like every other boy! I just take the same hormones as them! Isn't that amazing Amanda?!”

Amanda leans down to hug her big brother, “Yes! You can be my big brother and everyone will know it!”

“We're home! Girls? Where are you?!” The kids hear their parents come into the house.

“In my room mom!” Todd calls back.

Amanda turns to her brother, “Todd, are you going to tell them? Maybe they'll figure out they were being dumb and call you Todd also!”

Todd smiles nervously, “Yeah, yeah, I'll tell them tonight. Do you wanna help me?”

“Yeah!”

\-----------

Dinner was set and everyone was eating, or well almost everyone was. Todd couldn't get himself to eat much. His father looked at him, “Something wrong sweetie?”

Todd sighs and looks at his parents, “mom, dad, I'm a boy. I'm not a girl! I never have been!”

Todd’s mother looks at him, “Honey, don't be silly, i carried you in my belly for nine months, and gave birth to you, I'm very aware that you're a girl.” She gives him a gentle but serious look.

“That’s not what I mean! It's called transgender! When you're one gender but you want to be another!” he looked at his parents and was discouraged by their unconvinced looks.

“Todd’s a boy, mommy. He's not lying” Amanda says seriously from her seat next to him.

Their father sighs, “No, honey, you're just confused. You're a girl, you can't just be a boy because you want to be!” he gives both of them an exhausted look.

Todd just looks down at his barely eaten food. “I'm tired, I'm going to go to sleep. Goodnight” he pushes away from the table and heads to his room.

Amanda looks at her parents, “He’s my big brother, i don't care what you say, you're wrong. And his name is Todd!” she storms after her brother, bent on making sure he doesn't go to bed sad.

She finds him curled up under his blankets. She wiggles her way into a spot near his chest.  
“Amanda, please I don't want to talk anymore”  
“We don't have to. It's okay i still believe you. I know you're my brother, you're a boy, and your name is Todd! We're Todd and Amanda Brotzman! The toughest siblings around!”  
Todd hugs his sister to his chest and whispers a “Thank you” before they fall asleep.

\-----------

Todd’s 16, he's a sophomore in high school now. Everyone calls him Todd now, since he won't even react if you call him by any other name. His parents had begrudgingly accepted that he is trans. If only because Todd would ignore them anytime they called him the wrong name or used the wrong pronouns.

They had come to a compromise, they used Todd's chosen name and pronouns, but he would not be allowed to use hormones while he lived with his parents. Todd accepted this because he knew he wouldn't get anything better.

Amanda never once stopped calling him Todd, using masculine pronouns, or calling him her brother. Todd was grateful to have such a wonderful sister. Puberty was thought on them both, but Amanda knew it was harder for Todd. She knew he hates that his body looked more feminine everyday. She wished she could take it all for him.

On really bad days, Todd couldn't even go to school because if he had to be called “Miss Brotzman” one more time he would probably throw a book at his teacher. On these days Amanda made sure to pester one of Todd's band mates to get his homework so at least he wouldn't fall too far behind, and become even more stressed.

Some nights Amanda would sleep in Todd's bed with him as he cried. She assured him that it was okay for boys to cry, toxic masculinity be damned. Afterwards, when Todd had calmed down, he would hug her and thank her for being the best sister ever. 

\-----------

Finally, Todd graduated high school. He had a job, it was horrible but it was a job. He has saved up enough to move out and start hormones. He would be moving into a shared apartment with two other members of Mexican Funeral. They were nice guys and accepted Todd without much fuss, so it'd be easier to move in with them while he began his transition.

He moved far enough that he wouldn't be expected to see his parents a lot, but close enough that he could bus it over to see Amanda.

It worked out for a while. Full time job, testosterone shots once a week, visiting Amanda on his days off, and band practice when everyone had free time.

After a year off, he switched to a part time job so he could go as a full time student at a local college. He lived just off campus in a shitty small apartment. 

A semester into college he realized his savings weren't going to last long, forget top surgery he'd be lucky to buy a new binder this year. While trying to figure out a way to get more money without having to get another job or drop a class, he remembered his aunt. She had a neurological disease called Pararibulitis. Her family supported her since she was unable to work due to her constant attacks. It ran in his family, so it wouldn't be that hard to get his parents to believe since they hardly saw him. Even more so after he started T, they made less of an effort to see him. They didn't like seeing their “little girl” being erased from Todd month after month.

That settled it, he call them in a week and say he'd had an attack and he needed money to he could see a specialist.

\-----------

Two years, Todd had been lying for his family for two years. He was an awful person. He felt guilty Every time he talked to his parents. Yet, it was better than being mistaken for a girl everyday.

With the money his parents had given him ,for what they thought was medication for his Pararibulitis, he'd actually just used to pay for his top surgery. It had been done around 7 months ago. He’d only seen Amanda twice since then and only for a couple hours each time. 

He wanted to tell her, she deserved to know. She was amazing little sister who accepted him from the start, maybe she'd understand.

As he thought about telling her, his phone rang. It was his mother, wow talk about a coincidence.

He answered, “Hey mom, Whats up?”

“Its Amanda! She has it too!!”

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“Pararibulitis! She had an attack a few hours ago! It was bad. Oh no, i can't believe both my children are sick!”

“Mom, calm down. It'll be okay! Look, I know this is weird timing but listen, i haven't had an attack for a few months! My doctor says he's almost certain i've recovered!”

“What?! Honey why didn't you tell us!?”

“I'm sorry, i just didn't want to get your hopes up. Look, just make sure Amanda gets the help she needs, I'll stop by this weekend to see her, okay?”

“Okay, honey, i should go make sure she's okay. Goodbye sweetie”

“Goodbye mom” Todd hung up and dropped his head into his hands. He felt like the absolute scum of the earth. He’s a horrible brother. Amanda deserves better. He wishes he could take the last two years back. He curls up into his small bed, reminding himself to go see Amanda for sure this weekend. He could at least do this one thing for her.


	2. Dirk Gently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's Dirk's background as a transguy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, hello, I'm back! I'm sorry this took so long school and depression have been kicking my ass.  
> So, here is chapter two! This one was way harder to do since I ended up making up a lot of this from scratch since I have yet to finish the book or read any of the comics.  
> Also, everyone else in this chapter misgenders and deadnames Dirk, so please keep that in mind.  
> And, I literally just finished it, so no one has proofread this, so I apologize for any mistakes, feel free to point some grammatical errors out.  
> Enjoooyyyy!

Dirk is seven when he walks into the dining room and sees his parents talking to a man he has never seen. He glances towards his parents and shoot them a confused look. His mother gives him a small smile in return, while his father just nods at him and says, “Svlad. This is Mr. Riggins, he’s telling us about a really cool school that you could go to. Come, take a seat, dear.”

Dirk nods and complies, taking a seat next to his mother, and across from this Mr. Riggins. He turns towards his mom, “What’s wrong with my school now?”

“Well, this one is just better, why don’t we let Mr. Riggins explain, okay honey?” Dirk nods to his mother, and turns his attention to the man across from him.

“Hello there Svlad, my name is Scott Riggins, I’m from a school in America. It’s a school for very smart people like you! It’ll be a lot of fun!” Riggins is smiling the entire time he talks to Dirk.

“I have fun at my school.” Dirk gives a simple reply.

“Yes, well, isn’t it boring?”

Dirk thinks for a minute, the current school he is in enrolled in is quite easy and very boring at times. Maybe he would have fun at a school in America, he knows he’d probably never go there another way. His family is barely making by, no matter what his parents tell him, he knows they are struggling. “Well, yes, it can be.”

His mom places a hand on his small shoulder, “Would you be willing to go, sweetie? We can’t go with you, so Mr.Riggins will be watching after you while you attend this new school.”

“It really is better than my current school?” he asks Mr. Riggins, who nods at him. He looks up to his mother’s face, “I think I’d like to go.”

His mother sends him a smile, “That’s wonderful dear! Why don’t you go play while we talk some more?”

Dirk nods and stands up and walks out of the dining room, but instead of going to his room, he sits near the doorway on the opposite side of the wall. He wants to know everything he can about this new school.

His mother was the first voice he heard, “How much will the tuition be? We should start seeing if it will be a problem.”

Mr. Riggins’ calmed voice answered his mother, “You don’t need to worry about the price of the school, it will all be taken care of.”

His father’s voice, full of disbelief was next, “Why would there be no tuition? Who’s going to pay for her clothes and books and everything she needs?”

Dirk reminded himself to be quiet at this, he didn’t need to alert his parents to his hiding spot.

“Well, Svlad is quite a gifted young child, we would be honored to have her with us. We will have no problem covering all the costs of her, as long as she promises to work her best everyday.”

Dirk could manage that, he would work his hardest so his parents would not have to worry. He promises himself that on the spot.

His mother’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “You should know, Svlad is going through her tomboy phase right now. She thinks she's a boy, and well we don’t really have a problem with it as long as she’s happy. Will you let her be herself while she’s over there?”

“Of course Mrs. Cjelli, we believe that every student should be comfortable with themselves.”

This filled Dirk with even more joy and excitement. He decided he had heard enough, so as quietly as he could, he made his way to his room

\------

Two weeks later Dirk found himself all packed up and hugging his parents goodbye. Everything seemed to be happening very fast. One minute he was driving away, the next he was sitting in a plane next to Riggins, and the the next thing he knew the plane was landing. So much had happened in one day.

Mr. Riggins was kind to Dirk and made sure he was comfortable the entire trip. After departing from the plane, they gathered their luggage, and Riggins looked at Dirk, “Hey Svlad, let’s go get something to eat and we can talk about how tomorrow will go, alright?”

Dirk nodded and gave a small “Okay”, everything was starting to get to him, so he wouldn’t mind a meal and some sleep. 

\------

The next day, Dirk found himself awake and dressed before it was even 8am. Last night Riggins had told him that they would wake up early to enroll him in the school get his classes set up. Dirk was really nervous, but also excited to see such a new place, so he didn't complain about having to wake up early.

Before he knew it, they were at his new school. It didn't really look like any school he had seen before, it looks too medical and office like. It did not look inviting at all. But Dirk followed Riggins in and let him do all the talking.

They walked into an office and Dirk took a seat against the wall while Riggins sat directly across from a very professionally dressed man. “Sir, I have brought Svlad Cjelli. She will be our newest to the program, and she can start today if needed.”

The man looked over at Dirk, giving him a very unimpressed look. “Are you sure she's what we're looking for? She doesn't look special.”

“Oh, you just have to let her warm up to you, then you'll see how special she is, Sir.”

“Hmm, alright, show her to her room and get her set up for testing.”

“Right away, Sir!” Riggins turned to Dirk, “Follow me Svlad.” 

Dirk gave one final look towards the man who was still staring at him, before following Riggins out the door. He continued following him down very unfamiliar hallways. “Um, Mr. Riggins, is this my new school?”

Rigging gave him a small smile and nodded, “Yes, Svlad, and you start today so we have to get you all set up.” He led Dirk to an elevator and ushered him in, pressing a basement level button. “Your room will be down here with a few others. We have an hour to set up before we need to head out again, okay?”

Dirk nodded and looked at the ground. He followed behind Riggins when the elevator doors finally opened. He didn't look up until he was actually in his new room. It was quite small, there was a bed in the corner with plain pale pink sheets. There was a desk against the opposite wall with a lamp on it. And finally, a small bookshelf and dresser against the third wall. He look up at Riggins sending him a confused look. 

Mr. Riggins sighed, “I'm sorry Svlad, all the rooms look like this. Why don't you unpack while I go check on some things?” 

Dirk nodded and started the task of filling his dresser with clothes from his duffel bag. He hadn't brought much with him, since he had never gone to school away from him so he didn't know what to bring, he just hoped for the best. 

Soon after he was done, he sat on his bed, which was thankfully soft enough that he could sleep comfortably. He was absently staring at the walls when Riggins walked back in with a small pile of clothes in his hands.

“Ah, Svlad, it turns out there is a uniform requirement. You'll have to change into this before tests start. I'll be outside ready to go when you're done.” He sets the clothes on Dirk’s desk and leaves.

Dirk hops off his bed and heads over this his desk. The uniform looks incredibly like nurses scrubs, this confused Dirk greatly. Yet, what annoyed him was that they were pink and covered in flowers. Don't get Dirk wrong, he loved both pink and flowers, but he hated that they were making him wear something so obviously girly. He liked his jeans, t-shirts, and jackets, those were what made him comfortable. He sighed and changed always, keeping his same worn shoes since he wasn't provided with anything else. He then heads out his room to meet Riggins.

\------

Two months. It had been two months of constant testing. Constant, “Svlad, tell me what’s under that card”, “What will happen next, Svlad?”, and so on. It had been two months of obviously girly clothes that he hated so much. Two months of only hearing the name “Svlad”, and never once, “Dirk”. 

He liked his name better than the one his parents had chosen for him. No one could even pronounce it and he was so tired of correcting everyone. He just wanted everyone to know what he knew, that he is a boy and his name is Dirk Gently!!

Dirk decided he would not do anymore of their dumb tests until they realized he was right.

\------

This plan worked for about three days. After three days of him not cooperating and three days of being locked in his room with barely any meals they sent in Riggins. 

Riggins sat next to Dirk’s bed and laid a soft hand on Dirk’s shoulder. “Svlad tell me what's wrong, why won't you cooperate? You're going to make yourself sick if you keep acting like this.”

Dirk didn’t answer, he stayed face first into his pillow and did his best to not even acknowledge Riggins presence. 

Riggins sighed, “Come on tell me what’s wrong. I’ll do everything I can help. But I have to know the problem first.”

Dirk slowly turned his body until he is facing Mr. Riggins, “I’m not a girl, stop calling me one. Stop calling me Svlad. Stop making me dress like one. Let me cut my hair.” He then turned back to laying face first into his pillow and returned to ignoring Riggins. 

Riggins stands up slowly, “I’ll see what I can do.”

\------

The next day Dirk wakes up to find a few new sets of his uniform, but in a pale blue. He quickly changes out of his pink one in exchange for his new blue ones. A few minutes after he’s done changing and just finishing tying his shoes, there is a knock at his door, Riggins walks in.

“Ah, good morning, I see you found your new clothes. I’m glad you like them, you seem to be feeling better.”

Dirk let’s a small smile find it’s way on his face as he nods towards Riggins.

“Come on, we have a few more things to do today. First up, a haircut. Look’s like we’ve all looked past your need for one a bit too long now.”

Dirk smiles on of his first genuine smiles since being at Blackwing. He stands up and follows Riggins out his room, keeping pace with him.

“So, I was able to get almost everything plus a bit more than you wanted approved. The only thing I wasn’t able to get approved was a name change. I’m sorry bud.”

Dirk shrugs, “ I guess that fine, I’ll deal with it.”

\------

After his haircut, which was nice and short now, Dirk found himself in a room that looked more medical than usual. He looks over at Riggins, “What are we doing here?”

“Ah, you’re going to be getting some shots to help you. Some Puberty blockers, the doctor will explain everything to you better than I ever could. Don’t worry it’s nothing to bad.”

That exactly what happened a few minutes later. The doctor explained that he will be getting a shot a month to stop any unwanted changes to his body. Dirk had no problem with this because after he turned 12, he would be put on testosterone so he could look more like the boy he is! He also didn’t have to do the shots himself, which he was happy about.

\------

From then on, Blackwing and Dirk had a compromise. Dirk would do what they said, and he would get his hrt with no problem. If he disappointed them too much, he would be punished and be forced to miss a shot, or have it very late. Dirk tried his best to work his hardest so this would not happen, but sometimes he could not help it. He just slipped up sometimes. 

Every time he messed up greatly, they would remind him how they were helping him, so why couldn’t he just be good and do this correctly?

They made him do their useless experiments until there was no possible way for him to stay awake or even move on his own. On those day, he would wake up in his room with no idea how he got there, and the rest of the day would be a disorienting mess of trying not to let it happen again. 

\------

This went on for years. Dirk was only able to keep track of the years because Riggins would sneak him a small treat every year on his birthday. His favorite birthday was his 12th, since after he had finished the treat Riggins has gotten for him, he received his first testosterone shot. 

His shots were weekly at this point, so Dirk knew he had to be on his best behavior so he would not miss a week.

Then, sometime when after he turned 19, he knew it was time to find a way out. He knew if he stayed everything would go wrong. They were getting tired of his not being what he wanted, it would be dangerous to stay. He waited for the correct moment, and when he found it. He made his escape. It wasn’t the grand escape you would expect from the one and only Dirk Gently, but he was not complaining today.

A while ago, he had become aware of a worker that would leave certain doors unlocked for a bit after his break so he could sneak out for a smoke break. So, Dirk knew exactly where to go when he felt the universe yell that it was time. 

Suddenly, Dirk found himself outside of Blackwings perimeter for the first time since he was seven years old. They had only ever let him play in high walled off area of a courtyard, so he had not left since the day he walked in.

Dirk knew he had to find a place to stay, and a way to make money. But first, some new clothes maybe.

\------  
Dirk did in fact find a way to make a living that provided enough to afford a small apartment, food, and hrt. He doesn’t live in the safest neighborhood, but really it doesn't bother him. The universe would not have lead him here if he wasn’t meant to be there. 

He makes money by solving small cases for anyone really. It started off by finding missing cats, and evolved from there. Yet, still his most memorable case was a missing cat case. He had been walking back from his appointment at a local clinic, one that did not ask questions and gave him his shots without much of anything, when he had been grabbed by a rather intimidating looking man. Dirk had given off a rather scared yelped before asking the rude man, “Can I help you? I was in the middle of walking sir.”

“You’re the dude the find lost things right?”

“Ah! Yes that’s me! Have you lost something?”

“Well, it was my daughter, she can’t find her cat, and their like best friends and now she won’t stop crying. I’d get her a new cat if that would help, but she wants her cat specifically. Can you find him?”

“Ooh, another missing cat, yes I definitely can. What is this cat’s name? And where will I be able to contact you at?”  
The man handed him a card, “This is my mobile, ask for Nick, and his name is Patch.”

“I’ll start looking for him right away!”

\------

Dirk had found Patch four hours later. The gray and black cat was lounging in a sun spot on a bench in the local park. He didn’t even flinch as Dirk walked up and scooped him up in his arms.

It turned out, the man who had hired him was the leader of a very serious gang, and so by finding Patch he had earned immunity from basically any human harm from anyone around him. If someone did hurt him, someone in Nick’s local group would come to his aid.

Dirk was not opposed to this as he always found himself in rather odd situations, and a temporary assistant often came in handy. None of them stayed after they made sure Dirk was okay, he would thank them and they would leave. 

This was how Dirk’s life went until he received a call from Patrick Spring, who hired him to solve his own murder. 

The first time he meets Todd it’s in a hallway after running into himself. The second, and more proper(ish) time he met Todd, he was climbing in through Todd’s window with a giant smile on his face, only to get a shoe thrown at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo, and we all know what happens after they meet! Next chapter takes place after the Patrick Spring case! it should be out much faster than this chapter since like 90% of it is already done.  
> Also, I don't know much about puberty blockers since I was already 19 when I started T.  
> Tell me your thoughts in the comments!  
> Thank you! Follow me on tumblr @wallacewellls.


	3. If I'm trans and you're trans, who's driving this van [the Rowdies probably]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lmao what last 10 minutes, the show ended in the dinner scene.  
> Takes place after the Spring case, so everything that happened in the show happened.  
> I dunno what the chapter title means dude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some p.o.v switching in this chapter, also I don't even know what format this is written in. First person? Third person? Who knows my dude. Enjoy!

After the Patrick Spring case, life for everyone in the agency settled down just a bit, enough to let everyone take a breather.

Todd was attempting to balance his life out, now with the added burden of pararibulitis and an angry sister. He really wanted to be a better and honest person to not only Amanda, but everyone in the agency. He started with giving Amanda her space, and trying his best to not object with her spending almost all her free time with the Rowdy Three. He just didn't want his sister getting arrested for vandalizing property, but deep down he knew she was safe with the psychic energy sucking vampires. She kept her pararibulitis under control with them, but Todd preferred the medication. At least they were on talking terms, that was a good start.

His relationship with Farah really just stayed the same. Minus the flirting. You don’t flirt with your sister’s girlfriend, ever. 

The relationship he found himself constantly working on, was with the one and only Dirk Gently. That bright sunshine man could always be found in Todd’s small apartment, probably doing something annoying, like attempting to make Todd switch completely to tea, without Todd’s knowledge of course. Todd had to remind himself constantly, that you do not yell at your best friend, not even if it’s 2am and he's attempting to drag you out to find the neighbor's missing cat. 

Yet, no matter what they were doing Dirk and Todd spent most days together. They did mundane things like watching crappy daytime tv shows. Sometimes Dirk even helped Todd plan how to redo his apartment, since it was still on the mend with that one encounter from the Rowdies. Most of the time, they found themselves attempting to cook something and watching a movie until they could barely keep their eyes open. No matter how late it was, Dirk never slept over at Todd’s, he always said a goodnight to his friend and made his way back to his own apartment for the night. 

Todd thought this was for the best, since he was still keeping one secret from his friend. He told himself it wasn’t lying since he was doing it for his own safety. What if Dirk has a bad reaction? At this point, he knew he was just lying to himself. Dirk literally could rarely ever hurt someone on purpose. Most injuries from Dirk were accidental, something to do with one of his flailing limbs. Todd promised himself he’d tell Dirk eventually, just not right now. He wanted this friendship to last as long as he could make it.

\---Dirk’s P.O.V---

Dirk was currently digging through Todd’s bathroom for some more band aids. The only ones he could find were bright pink ones, which he knows Todd bought specifically to annoy Dirk. He had cut himself while trying to cook again. Todd had told him to get a band-aid while he finished cooking because he didn’t want Dirk cause anymore harm. A bit rude if Dirk had anything to say about it, but it was Todd so he lot it slide.

Dirk reached the very bottom drawer under Todd’s bathroom sink, he opened it hoping for a hidden stash of normal band-aids, but instead he was greeted with sealed sterile syringes. Huh, was Todd trying out a new medication for his Pararibulitis? Not wanting to let Todd know he had been snooping, he took one of the pink band aids and put it on his arm and exited the bathroom. Turning into the kitchen he was greeted by a slightly smiling Todd.

“Ah, pink band-aids really suit you well Dirk.”

“Oh shut up, where do you even find these things? Did that cook have like an infinite stash?”

“The internet Dirk, the internet. Anyways, do you think you can grab the plates without burning the apartment down?”

Dirk walked over to the cabinets, “I can do even better and not break a single plate!.... This time.”

“Whatever dude, What movie do you want to watch tonight?”

“Let’s watch the next Harry Potter, Amanda has been telling me watch them all. I guess they're pretty good?”

“Amanda loves those movies, so do I. Okay, Prisoner of Azkaban it is then.”

\---Todd’s P.O.V---

Sometime during discovering who Sirius Black really was, and setting him free Dirk had fallen asleep. Usually, Todd would wake him up and fake being sick so he could have some privacy. But, he had done his shot yesterday, so he was in the clear and decided to let Dirk sleep on the couch for the night. 

He slowly shifted Dirk into a more comfortable position. In the process Dirk’s shirt had ridden up and revealed his stomach. Instead of Dirk’s usual button up, tie, and jacket getup, he had been wearing his Mexican Funeral t-shirt and some red wine colored skinny jeans. So, not much was in the way of Todd’s gaze, which was instantly brought to a tan patch right above Dirk’s hipbone. Huh, what was that? A nicotine patch? Why would Dirk need one of those? 

Todd shrugged and grabbed his extra blanket, putting it on top of Dirk, slightly tucking him in. Knowing how their lives went, he would eventually get an answer. He didn’t need to go poking into Dirk’s business when it wasn’t needed. He rarely spoke about his past due to Blackwing, and Todd did not want to bring those memories to the surface.

Todd went about getting ready for bed as usual, just slightly quieter as to not wake up Dirk. He looked over at Dirk one last time as he climbed into bed and settled in for the night. This was sort of nice, being able to see Dirk at peace. He wouldn’t mind letting Dirk share his bed, but he didn’t want things to get weird. Actually sharing the bed wouldn’t be weird, but having Dirk notice something off about him would ruin Todd. He didn’t want to lose his best friend. Who he may or may not have a gigantic crush on. Todd sighed and rolled over to face the wall. He slowly drifted to sleep.

\-------

When Todd woke up Dirk was gone. There was a blue sticky note on his door, it read; “Hi Todd! Not kidnapped, just went back to my own flat to shower and change! Thank you for letting me stay, I didn’t mean to impose! I’ll see you later Todd! -Dirk Gently”

Todd laughed at how Dirk signed his entire name. Well, at least Dirk was okay.  
\------  
It has been a few days since Dirk had fallen asleep on his couch. They had gone on as usual. Dirk only mentioned it once, the next time they had met up he had thanked Todd again for letting him sleep over. Since then neither of them had brought it up. 

Tonight they were doing another dinner and movies night. Tonight they decided to just order pizza. Todd wasn’t up for watching Dirk’s every move in the kitchen.

They each settled into the couch and tuned into the movie of the night, Star Trek, the 2009 version. Todd didn’t feel like started a multi-episode show with Dirk just yet. So, he settled with the newer remake to see if it was of any interest to Dirk. 

Halfway through lens flares, and phasers he turned to Dirk, “Hey Dirk... um.. do you smoke? Or, like I mean, Did you smoke?”

“Ew, of course not smoking is vile and disgusting and will kill you. It will give you cancer Todd!! I'm already almost dying all the time! I don't need to give the universe even more reason to off me!!!”

“Hey!! I just wondered, that's all! You were wearing a nicotine patch the other day....”

Dirk gets an uncomfortable look on his face, and distracts himself by eating his pizza.

“Look, I didn't mean to.. uh offend you. Just like, why do you need a nicotine patch if you don't smoke?”

“Hmmm, well I don’t seem to find it my business to question you about your multiple medication needs Todd.”

Todd is facing the tv but not really absorbing any of the action and lens flares going on. He mumbles out a small, “It's personal.”

“Yes, Todd, well maybe my patch is personal also”. They both go back to watching the movie in silence. 

When the movie ends and Todd gets up to turn it off. He sighs, “look, I’m sorry for being nosy about stuff that isn't my business”

Dirk, sniffs, “It's okay Todd, you were just looking out for me like the good friend you are.”

Todd blushes at the comment but still looks toward Dirk, “Hey look, I have to tell you something, it's personal but like I trust you to like, not run out of here screaming and cursing me, because look, were friends and i'm your assistant.”

Dirk looks at Todd, “I don't think you could make me leave, I stayed with you even after you were a jerk about not being my friend, which by the way you were soooo wrong about.” He smirks at Todd.

Todd clears his throat, “Uh, yeah, I’m a huge jerk yea, but we both know that”, he sighs and sits down. “Okay, so like, I... god this is hard to put into words.”

“Take your time Todd, I’ll be here.”

“My name wasn't always Todd.”

“That's not weird? Why would that upset me?”

“No, no, I’m not done. Look I... when I was a kid my parents called me a girl-”

Dirk looks up, shocking quickly understanding what Todd is saying, “Todd!”

Todd sighs, “No Dirk, please just let me get this out.”

“But Todd!”

Todd is slightly shaking and wringing his hands, he quietly whispers, “Dirk please.” He’s trying his hardest not to cry in front of his friend.

Dirk sees this and sits back to let Todd talk. Todd sends him a small tight smile. “They thought I was a girl, gave me a stupid name too. No way you'll ever get me to tell you what it was. Hell, even Amanda still refuses to tell anyone and she hates my guts right now. I don't deserve a wonderful sister like her.” Todd has a few tears going down his face at this point, losing his battle not to cry. Dirk grabs a hold of his hands to ground him and encourage him to go on.

“But, like I never believed that. I Knew I was a boy. And I wanted to use the name Todd. It's such an obviously male name. Amanda used it right away, and called me her big tough older brother, even though I was so small I couldn’t do anyone harm.” Todd laughs at the memory. Dirk smiles along as well.  
“I’m such a horrible person Dirk. Look, I’m still lying to you right now. I didn't just get my parents to pay for my rent. I used the money to get hormones. That's why I have those syringes and vials of medication. Dirk, it's for testosterone, I’m trans.” He turns to Dirk, expecting a frown but is met with a giant smile. He gives Dirk a confused look

“Todd, you are an absolute idiot.” Todd looks slightly horrified, thinking Dirk is about to leave and send the rowdies after him. Dirk grabs his other hand and makes Todd face him.

"No no no, Todd, no. I didn't mean it like that. Whatever bad thing you're thinking off in that negative head of yours, stop it.” Todd’s face calms just a bit, but still looks confused.

“Todd, you dummy, I’m trans too!”

Todds eyes widen, “Wait, what?!”

Dirk nods, still smiling.

Todd lets out a throaty stressed laugh and lets himself cry just a little more. And just stares at Dirk. “You asshole!”

“Well, I’m not one for grand speeches at 1 in the morning.”

Todd glares at him.

“Okay, okay, yes maybe I am. But not about this. It's just me, who I am. The universe makes mistakes sometimes, I mean remember when Bart tried to kill me? Yeah, a mistake, but it righted itself. Just like me being born Svlad and being called a Girl by everyone in that damn facility.” Dirk let’s some hostility leak into his voice, just for a second as he thinks of his old name and Blackwing. He clears his throat, “But still, the universe made sure I was well into my transition before I left there. It made sure that I could change my names and continue hormones, and that Blackwing got stuck with giving me free hormones. Ha, serves them right for being so nasty and manipulative!”

Todd is looking at Dirk, whose smiling. He gives a questioning look, “Uhm, Svlad? Wait no, no, I’m sorry that was rude of me. I didn't even tell you my deadname so that's not fair of me to ask.”

Dirk smiles at Todd, “It's quite alright as long as you realize to never ever call me that, which I already know you do.”

Todd laughs nervously, “I’m an asshole, but not THAT much.”

"I know.” he pauses, “I’m going to hug you now.”

Todd nods his head in consent, "If you don't mind snot all over you.”

“What are friends for, if to not get covered in their best friends snot??”  
Todd rolls his eyes and he hugs tightly on to Dirk.

“You’re such an idiot”, but he's muffled by the cloth if Dirk’s shirt. Dirk just huffs a laugh and keeps hugging Todd.

Still muffled Todd speaks up again, “You're sleeping here tonight, too many emotions went on and I don't want to be alone.”

“Of course Todd, of course. Your couch is always a nice place to sleep.” He remembers the first time he came barging into Todd’s small apartment. Running to the couch and throwing himself on, while proclaiming it his sleeping spot.

Todd eases his way out of the hug, far enough to look at Dirk, but avoiding eye contact. “Uhm, if you want, but like ONLY if you want, you can, um sleep in my bed with me. I mean again, only if you want, I never offered before because like I thought you'd maybe figure the trans thing out on accident. I thought it’d be weird, and I was really scared you’d leave an-”

Dirk cuts Todd off, “Todd, it's fine. I think a bed will be an upgrade. No offence to your sofa, but I am a tall man. 

Todd rolls his eyes and laughs as he stands up. “I’m going to get ready, make yourself comfortable.” He makes his way to the bathroom to busy himself with brushing his teeth and changing into an old t-shirt and some boxers.

When he comes back a few minutes later he finds Dirk curled up in the blankets of his bed. He can’t help smiling at how cute Dirk looks in his old Mexican Funeral t-shirt. So much weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He makes his way into the bed, Dirk Stirring just as he gets settled in, “Oh, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I wassn sleepin, just restin my eyes toooodd.”

Todd laughs softly, ”Whatever you say buddy.”

Dirk turns towards Todd, eyes a bit more alert, “Todd, were you really scared I’d leave? Did someone do that to you before?”

Todd turns towards Dirk and gives him a sad smile, “Yea, a lot of people left after finding out I wasn't a real man.” Todd makes air quotes around the last half of the sentence, scoffing at the ridiculousness that only a penis would equal being male.

Dirk eyes sadden as he looks at Todd, “I’m sorry Todd, that horrible!”

“It’s okay, got use to it. Who needs girls who think only someone with a penis is a real guy. And really, gay guys who refuse to date trans guys? Yeah, that’s some bullshit. But I eventually found better places to find accepting people. Still, they never stuck around long enough.”

“You shouldn’t have to get use to it!”

Todd shrugs, “Uh, what about you?”

Dirk thinks for a second, “Some guys made some comments, but never anything too bad, so I just let it go. Never felt right staying with them anyways.”

“Huh, so you have dated.”

“I’m not a hermit Todd, and believe it or not I am quite a handsome man!”

“I never said you weren't! I am aware that you are very attractive.” Todd once again blushes and hopes it's too dark to Dirk to notice. But luck is not on his side, as always.

“No need go blush, it's quite alright to call another man attractive.”

Todd rolls his eyes, “I know.” he smiles at Dirk and brushes some of Dirk’s hair out of his face. Dirks blushes and his eyes light up a bit.

“Hey Todd.... would it... you can say no, like it’s one hundred percent okay to say a no.”

Todd laughs at the obviously nervous Dirk, “Just ask”, he says quietly, his hand now on Dirk’s shoulder.

“Can I kiss you?” Dirk manages to stumble out.

‘Yes, it’s about time!”

“Hey, you could have asked too!!”

Todd ignores this in favor of nosing his face closer to Dirk’s, letting him close the space, giving him time to back away. Dirk’s face is completely red as he slowly brushes his lips against Todd’s. They repeat these small kisses a few more times before sighing and resting their foreheads together.

“Huh, took us long enough to do that.”

“Way too long Todd.” Dirk confirms as he rearranges them so he’s now on his back with Todd’s head on his chest. “We really should sleep, we do need to you know, it's like a thing humans need.”

Todd, softly chuckles, “Yeah, okay Dirk, goodnight.”

“Goodnight Todd.” Dirk wraps his arms around Todd and they both fall into peaceful sleep, with smiles on their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, took the two long enough!  
> I love my two trans boys.  
> Next chapter is just fluffy fluff.


	4. Wakey Wakey Its Gay Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy chapter where Amanda and Farah appear  
> Also, you'll find out why it's called "Holistic Gays"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop, two chapters in one day. Finally my boy are together.  
> I wrote this chapter because I didn't want it to end just yet. So, here take this fluff!

They are both awoken to the sound of Amanda barely holding in her laughter as she takes picture after picture of them. The camera giving off that annoying fake shutter sound every time.

Todd groans,rolling off of Dirk but still keeping Dirk’s arms around him “Amanda i'm going to kill you, you better delete those”

Dirk is still making his way into fully consciousness as Amanda makes her way to the kitchen, “Ha, no way. I’m sending them to Farah right now to show her how you guys FINALLY got your shit together”

Todd is now untangling himself from Dirk’s lanky limbs and also the blankets around his legs. He makes his way next to his sister, to make some coffee for them, and tea for Dirk. “We can’t all be as smart as my wonderful little sister here”

“Hmm, flattery gets you nowhere big bro, you're still a giant asshole”

“Fair enough. Whats brings you here?”

“Dunno, felt like stopping by and i'm glad I did” she shakes her phone at Todd, he smiles at her.

Dirk finally makes his way groggily into the small kitchen just to lean himself on Todd and drop his sleepy head on his shoulder “Too early Tooooodd”

“No one said you had to get up!”

“Hmp, but your warm Tooooddd, and tea doesn't taste good cold!”

“Ugh, you guys are grossly adorable!”

“Good, payback for all the gross couple things you and Farah do in front of us”

“It's our turn now, because i have a cute tiny boyfriend now!” Dirk says with a smile on his face, remarkably more awake in the last few seconds.

“Call me tiny again and i'll kick you in the shin” Todd says with a smile aimed at Dirk.

“Hey, last time I called you short you threw a book at me!”

“Hmm, boyfriend specialty sorry.”

“Boys, jerks, all of them!” Amanda sighs.

“Oh Amanda! Speaking of boys! Guess what we figured out last night!” Todd slips away and beings preparing everyone’s drink.

“Take a guess Amanda” Todd tells his sister as he looks for three mugs.

“You realized that you both are blind and realized you’ve already been dating for two months?” Amanda sighs like it's the obvious answer.

Todd makes an “eeeerr” sound, impersonating a buzzer “Wrong!”

Amanda sends him a glare but he's too happy to care.

“Actually, no, we’ve only been dating since last night. Shortly after Todd told me he was trans.” Dirk smiles at Amanda. “Also, I’m trans as well.”

Amanda looks between them and laughs, “I can’t believe you out gay Farah and me! That’s not fair!”

Todd laughs as he hands Amanda her coffee and Dirk his tea, “Step up your game Amanda.”

“Dirk Gently’s Holistical Detective Agency of Gays”

“The Gay Agency, Gaygancy!”, Todd laughs out.

“Holistic Gays, we don't know what we're doing.” Amanda adds.

“Our new tag line!” They're all a giggly mess at this point

They move their conversation to the living room and every few minutes someone shouts out a gay pun followed by laughter. Dirk and Todd sit tangled together while Amanda sits next to them, smiling at their happiness.

They go on and on, and at some point Farah joins. Its one of those lazy days where everyone in the agency has no obligation to anyone but themselves.

For once Todd feels full of joy, and he’s happy he finally had that talk with Dirk. Every now and then he leans on and gives Dirk a kiss on the cheek, Every time Dirk blushes. 

It’s a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, It's done!! I can't believe I finally finished.  
> Thank you all for reading!  
> Comment and kudos appreciated! 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @;  
> My main blog; Wallacewellls  
> Trans headcanon/writing blog; Transrowdy3


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